Restlessness blew me away

Part I
Restlessness blew me away
From the solidity
Of my family
Restlessness blew me away
To this place
Of magical charm
Restlessness blew me away
Like the wind
Blows away leaves


Part II
For a little while
I thought I was still
I thought I was at peace
I almost believed
Restlessness had abandoned me
It did not last.


Part III
We travelled the seven seas
Restlessness and I
We saw the far reaching continents
Restlessness and I
We saw the northern lights
Restlessness and I
We were inseparable


Part IV
As I become confident
Restlessness becomes weak
As I become mature
Restlessness becomes confused
As I find True Love
Restlessness becomes jealous
As I grow old and frail
Restlessness becomes scared


Part V
Finally Restlessness is gone forever.


Insight into the poem

Who can say they have never been restless?

Restlessness may not be such a bad thing as many things we have done in our lives are a result of this restlessness and it drives us to move on to something different. It is human nature to get bored with one thing and then try something else. Of course, the novelty does wear off eventually, unless we are deeply passionate about something.

The younger we are the more restless we are. Try to get a child to sit still for a moment!

The same restlessness makes us travel. We want to explore the world but if we were perfectly happy and not restless, we would not have this desire.

Many of us move jobs for the same reason. Our jobs are fine but there is something telling us that we would be better off elsewhere. That’s our friend, restlessness again!

For me the battle against this restlessness has taken a long time and it is still going on. Yoga and meditation is a lot about finding your inner peace. That’s a place where restlessness cannot penetrate. The poem explores the relationship we have with this restlessness, which is more an external character as opposed to the peace and calm within.

As we grow older and become more mature and have achieved and experimented with life, slowly this restlessness starts to diminish in our nature.

I find this quite a fascinating idea and hence decided to explore it in different parts of the same poem. I guess my creative restlessness is making me more experimental with poem form. This may not be a “technical” poem for those who are great poets, but I enjoy letting the imagination guide me.

When I started writing the poem I also felt that this “Restlessness” I was writing about was becoming more like a personality. A friend, who is good for you at times and terrible for you at other times. We get into all sorts of trouble together but eventually we leave this friend because we have quietened down and they still get into trouble.

Finally we reach the age of wisdom ( I won’t define this as it varies greatly in different individuals) and we are in total control of ourselves so I imagine restlessness might leave us.

I am not there yet and my friend, Restlessness is still with me and planning to stay for a while.

During this Covid-19 lockdown, which has lasted 8 weeks in Spain, we all had to really tame this restless side of us! Suddenly we are allowed to leave the house again and we are all so happy…

Chaya Parmessur – May 2020

Author: Chaya Parme

Chemical Engineer Author

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